dont know whether im doing the right thing.

anyway im kinda addicted to this song.

传说 by yoga and liu li yang.

romantic song (:

been so tired of working.

i miss you. (:

life's like this

life's fine for me i guess.

as for working life.

i wanna strive hard laaaa.

i can stand being in this fucking household no more.

why noone trust and believe me like a family?

gosh. fuck it.

i love my dearest.

tell me how can others be so sweet?

envy. jealous.

duh nvm.

some can live in e world of 2 while some just cant.

then whats the meaning of being ........

promises are bullshits!

and why am i keep getting myself into this kind of shit.

making my life that miserable.

Is there anyone out there who can save me.

started work a few days.

quite okay.

1 week 2 days off for retail line hard to find yea?

lol.

and dear, i dont despise you cos you're out of job now,

and pls remember there are alot of other jobs out there.

its not the end of the world.

can please cheer up...?

its hard for me to concentrate at work you know...

hais.

sometimes im thinking...

do u need me? or do u actually need the things i can do for you?

cos you change whenever you have something in substitute.

i donno. so confused.

gd nites.

http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNTQwMjU1OTY=.html

this is a video of a damn fucking ccb knnb heartless father, slash his own son's eyes.
nnbbbbbbbb.
fuck. if my husband do that to my son i sure tong gui yu jin with him lol.

I feel like going every place with you,

having memories in each places we go.

Take alot alot of pictures together.

and keep them in my heart.

I want to go zoo, night safari, escape, birdpark, fishing, prawning, underwater, sentosa, wild wild wet, chalet, cable car, cruise, travel, flyer ride, movies, ice skating, k box.

so many so many places.

some places you say 2 person very boring.

& you don like watching movies ; waste of time and money.

but whats about romantic?

like you know, if you think 2 person life is very bored,

then how? get 5 girlfriends and go together?

sometimes i really wish to tell you,

"stop taking those stuffs! i wan to go zoo!!!!!"

but you only want to enjoy them, fiona. kelly. esther.(note - these are not humans.)

michelle leh?(this is human.)

whenever i see ppl blogging bout where they went for their anniversary,

which restaurant they went, what present they recieve,

i feel so jealous.

but never did i blame you for that,

cause financial is a reason.

i know you will say " if i got money i oso can bring you anywher!"

but look... when you have the money...

where it goes?

im not blaming you here...

i know its partly my fault for being so lazy also.

lols.

its just a little kids-cant-get-lollipop rants.

and we're going lucky plaza tomorrow right!

i know you're working hard.

i appreciate that really.

jiayous ba. i'll be soon working hard too. (;

i still love you afterall =p

oh damn why vanillia and rou cant play twilight...

arghhhh zzzz

oh mayb i should join them in xdreamer.

but i'll be starting work soon too.

so hmm no point ba.

already getting stressed up even before starting the job.

~.~

my everyday goal used to be waiting for my dear to come back home,

guess after i've started work i will be looking forward to going home and sleep everyday.

hahas.

i want money money $_$

bye buddies.

wtf is wrong with friendster uh?!?!

im left with like 15 friends.

PATHETIC.

im quitting it. roar.

fan si ren.

R.I.P Kei Lok

o9/11

-----

Back together lol. What's new?

Went to pick up dear from work, and pester him to bring me along to meet his fren.

aha. =p

After some transaction(lol), we took train to calvin's house,

and on the trip back, i told dear i had a audi couple but broke off when we got back,

he was fucking mad.

oh well but i manage to persuade him with my tears and stubborn hugs.

lol.

im sorry la, no next time la.

Met Vanilla, Kevan, Edwin, ZiYi, Charlene, Calvin and his campmates.

its been real long since i saw them, was quite happy.

had a party over there, althou its kinda ending when we reached lol.

dear seems very happy too. i know he is.

cos he wanted a proper rave so long.

but its so hot! Sahara desert!

Think his air con spoil or something.

dear had a lil heart to heart talk with ziyi,

his fav bro.

oh well, he's just so funny la.

went to find uncle round around 4am.

slacked at maconalds at pmall till 6+am.

took cab, home sweet home. (:

1o/11

------

Slacked at home the whole dayyyy wit dear.

11/11

------

Got a shocking news,

my friend passed away...

Not disclosing why.

Althou i donno know him well,

or even a long time,

But i know that he's one dam nice person.

He's nice to me, he's nice to everyone.

Help us run here and there without complaining nor rewards.

He's just 20....

Went to the place where he leave us,

some playground in Jurong West.

Alot of his friends were there,

Burn incense money and everything for him at 4am.

He's not my close friend, but when i see how sad is his family,

my eyes goes watery.

Everyone is calling his name....

"安心上路, 要记得回家的路..."

I wonder... how many friends will be calling for me when i die?

In memories of Ho Kei Lok.

May You Rest in Peace.

lol

edited - hmm. what to say? im basically a soft-hearted person. boo.

I think i really need some time too.

I'm really miserable.

Whatever i do, you don't seems to understand.

I'm tired, real tired.

You cant resist the temptation.

I cant control your desire.

Its not that i dont let you go out with your friends,

I'm more willing to allow; if you can control your spending.

I'm a failure girlfriend, i cant stop my boyfriend from spending.

I let him feel as thou he has no freedom.

Yes.

Why? Does anyone understand why?

I dont care how people see me as.

Wilful? Unreasonable? Sticky?

Whatever i've done, its for your own good.

It may let you feel breathless, but you're not the only one who feel so.

And if i dont care about you, why should i do all these?

And who the fuck in the world will care for you?

Regret when you know it.

You dont understand at all.

Lie to me for all you want, i will just act like i dont know.

Thats what you want, isnt it?

iloveyou

I know it seems lifeless; for you.

To stick with me; everyday.

I want you to be happy.

Not sure whether will your happiness comes from me,

Is a little doubt.

I would probably be the last to see your smile,

but always the first to be happy for you.

Sayangssss.

August

red - dont suit

bold - very suit

Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless(oh dear.). Firm and has leadership qualities(being led you mean?). Knows how to console others.(Kill me if ure angry/sad, but don ask me to talk.) Too generous and egoistic. Takes high Pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises(PRAISE ME PLSSSS). Extraodinary spirit. Easily angered(VERY). Angry when provoked(try me). Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious(i jus lost my money ytd). Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts(depends). Loves to lead and to be led(oh here). Loves to dream(but don do. D:). Talented in the arts, music and defense(i sing well :D). Sensitive but not petty(wow finally a way dat truly describes me, lmao). Poor resistance against illnesses(i seldom fall sick). Learns to relax(im learning o.o). Hasty and trusty(depends on you). Romantic(uh uh). Loving and caring(yes i ammmm :)). Loves to make friends(nah i'm shy :x)

im lazy to do every month. cos qi ur blog cant copy! i wrote this myself D:

为你而活

Sometimes relationships are just so questionable.

Why does people wants to leave someone whom you have lived with 30 years?

What for marry when the ending is divorce?

Shouldnt you learn your partner before you vow to be with them forever?

Then why regret?

And why try to hold back someone when you dont even treasure them while they are beside you?

Too much question uh?

But some cases are exceptional thou.

Just a little feeling got from my aunt's case.

---------------------------------------------

Can we dont quarrel already, my dear?!

Really tiring.

I love you more than anyone else.

You're the only one im gonna spend my life with.

I dont want anything in between.

The first in my wanted list.

How can you say you're not wanted?

I know you have been hard working, and i still say you're not.

Sorry dear.

But when we quarrel i really feel like saying "KNN BREAK LA".

I didnt cos i know after my anger fades,

you're still my favourite hello and hardest goodbye <3

See i so xing ku wash clothes for you and got a cut on my thumb!

lol. okae la nothing great to cry about.

Being a housewife really not easy can!

Long Life Mommy!

为了你而活

为了你而梦

为了爱

我会撑到最后

当世界都乌有

守著你的人是我

为了你而活

为了你而梦

伤痕再深

心无法划破

跟命运在逆流就算错了也不退后

&- you leave me breathless.

I know im in the wrong.

I've done what you prefer me to.

Still not enough?

Then whats the end?

I've been trying to mend this broken string,

Which you just leave it aside.

A fragile string is hard to hold,

It seems like it will snap anytime.

And when it snap, it breaks my heart.

It's, however, something i've been trying hard to maintain.

Its hard to know what you really wants,
When you dont even want to say.

And i feel that, if i died when we're quarreling,

You wouldnt even care.

Cos when e quarreling starts, nothing about me matters anymore.

&- do you even know what i want?

Happy 6th month Anniversary baby!

(:

We've got 2 6th month anniversary lol.

plus together 1 yr liao yay!

ok, childish.

But i know we wun end it like the last time right? (:

Althou its just 6 months but we've been thru alot!

really alot.

we run away together, suffer together, enjoy together, went crazy together.

so many so many!

It's really alot of mixed emotions having you here.

Sad, angry, worried, jealous, lonely, fun.....

but nonetheless(at least now), im really happy!

You're the most precious thing(excluding mommy) in my life now.

Never let go? I promise (:

and, and, im going to kbox later~

its been so long since i last went!

sooo looking forward.

CYA BUDDIES.

但愿天下有情人终成眷属! (:

now adays cohabiting in trend?

lol. no idea.

probably love is in e air~

haiyaaa so envy people can double-date traveling!

i oso wish i can have a short getaway~

don need too far la.

genting can liao. hahas.

my mom is quarreling with dad for me again.

i, HO POH YIN MICHELLE, promise, i will never ever send my mom to folk's home!

thats for unfilial freaks yeah. _l_

kinda agitated. lols. cos think of e movie "Money Not Enough 2".

I CRIED LIKE #$%^!&*.

however i imagine if my mom were to be sick like this,

hella. i will die with her.

SO MOTHERLY LOVED lol.

Although she always scream at me for nothing,

always disturb me when im not having a gd mood,

always say imma bitch(haha).

but she's still the one who will give me anything i really wish,

even it causes her life.

oh well, whenever i think how a failure daughter i am,

to have sucha a wonderful mother whom i cant take care of,

makes me weep.

too bad i didnt listen to her, i should have fucking continued my studies.

hais,

Life is Full of Regret-ness.

adios.

The person im most grateful with, is my mom;
The person i disappoint most, is my mom.
why?



&- i hate hypocrites.

previous post not done by me =o

Recently got so many things happened,

gone crazy that night.

How i wish i could share it with someone else...

but... how to say sia?

I only can say.... KELLY`s FAULT.

forget it.

Boy, Will you ever know how much you meant to me...?

But i know you love me like no one else do.

Im sorry for the stress my close ones have been giving to you.

Whenever i see how you face them makes me heartache.

I dont wanna see you like this, but i dont wanna be apart with you too.

Words couldnt express how i feel.

Lets strive, for our better day.

From now on, there`s only 2 of us. No one else. I hope.

There`s so much things.... too much.

I love you dear !

Got some shockening news from Thomas, hahas.

Went to drink with Thomas and LaiFa on wed's night.

Mayb its been so long since he last talked to us,

HE`s SO TALKATIVE.

Can understand his feelings thou...

but he doesnt listen to me! Frustrating.

lol. My dear...

STOP SAYING I WILL RUN FOR THAT KIND OF

"HANDSOME, RICH and GOT CAR" guys.

I WUN! if so, i might not be with you already.

bleah. or mayb i will if u still dont treat me nice.

HAHA. but like i said la.

if they have this kind of quality, they wun even lay their eyes on me.

they will go for CELESTINA. ur fav "chio-bu" orights.

Yesterday, go safra play billard.

sians life. ):

Maple
Rebirthed! now am a 172 NL! hehh.

CUTE RIGHT.

at least i think so. =p

woohoo!

yeterday was sunday, so... family outing!

went to east coast using sis's bf car.

and the thing u will think of when mention east coast?

.

..

...

....

ride bicycle!

hehh. so long nv ride bicycle...

kinda phobia after that incident at last yr's chalet lol~

i didnt fall down this time! (:

sis was skating, me and ma, pa, tat & lil morphe riding.

morpheus is sooo funny. we 5 ppl were like bodyguard luh.

staying beside him scare he fall down.

got one part is like, he going down slope,

and he couldnt control. i was infront of him..

and he shouted

"AH YI!!! I... VERY... FAST...!!

FASTER RUN!!!!"

i LMAO. yea. lol.

mom & dad was chasing each other,

and mom even challenged dad to race.

before they set off, my mom "secretly" tell me,

"let him pi bo yan!" like lol?

my parents are so cute and lovely, arent they? (:

finish cycling and i saw some activity going on,

so i went to check it out...

.

..

...

so many dogs....

bubbly.

& yea, it turned out to be an event for SPCA!
sooo many dogs omg! sooo cute laaaa.
got some big like teddy bear like dat!

queen with coat? o.o?


Huskey! sis's fav.
.
..
...
&- TADAH!!
here comes my favvvvvvvvvvvvv.




Golden Retriever!!!!!!
❤
❤
❤
❤
❤
❤
so handsome leiiii. damn.



sisters forever! (sounds childish. but its true wat.)



❤ mommy!

HAHA. lil morpheus say... "i wish ah da was here".
me too dearest. (:


someone's wondering why he didnt get to play water.
-
after dat we went to eat, now than i know there's a food court at east coast.
ate bbq chicken wingsssss. like fav can. ❤chicken den they ate some stuffs i don eat one.
like sambal sotongs and stuffs.
wanted to take more pics but mom's fone batt flat. thx to me.
and my fone is "5 megapixels". so no point.
after eating, went walking on the beach.
den saw this.
very mian qian de use my "5 megapixels" camera took it
its some "build-a-castle" thingy.
i guess it should be "build-big-castle".

see what i mean?
after that went to bugis to fetch that attitude guy.
ya my dearrrr. he's so lovely! yea...



a lil something for you guys.



goodbye east coast.
❤

i know myself.

thats my limit.

we've been staying like this for months.

im really tired.

i've been living in those empty promises for months.

i try to do everything i can. anything.

i couldnt take it anymore.

everything is my fault. yea mine.

have you ever put myself in ur shoes?

sorry for concerning u too much.

well, it hurts to hear "you care so much for wat?"

who am i actually means to you.

i shouldnt be caring?

den well, i wun. anymore.

im more disappointed then sad.

its time to set myself free.

dont wanna live ur cage anymore.

and well, i realise, my frens will be with me;

if i let them to.

Thanks Ben and Xian, ur dirty talks,

althou not funny. but still, made me cheer up.

love these buds.

*cassy laopo.... i finally know how you felt a yr ago.

teach me to be strong (:

love is always the illusions;

you make for it.

today is a quarrelling day duh, since yesterday.

he's off today.

woke up in e morning, played maple awhile, den we went to get ready.

went downstairs. and started to quarrel that he say i wear too little.

so i went up to change my clothes, just anyhow changed to a long sleeve one, when he walked away to redhill mrt.

den i go to redhill mrt to meet him. and he gave a comment like

"why you never wear nicer?" i was fucking irritated.

imagine u wear something u like, and got scolded, and u changed to meet e "requirement",

and still, got a kind of comment like this.

tears rolled down my cheek, duh. i didnt want to let him saw it.

so i walk another way.

in the journey, we never say anything to each other. just like a stranger.

how cute, huh.

den he went home and change and stuffs.

after that i ask him where are we going now,

and we start quarreling again. he say if i wanna ignore him, den might as well i go home.

im not trying to ignore him. just didnt want to let him say i act ke lian.

anyway, my explaination forever doesnt take effect.

whenever i tok nicely to him, he would say something nasty.

till i really cannot make it. breakdown.

lol cried like a crazy women in e mrt.

perhaps i should just jump down.

end of quarreling.

den we went bugis to meet calvin, edwin &fren and minghui.

mayb he is even nice enough to buy thing for me to eat

calvin was doing his tattoo on e hand.

went walk around and get back home.

hais.

where's the confidence i used to have in this relationship?

Promises is meant to suck balls.

dear started work a few days le, hope he will get used to his job.
strive hard. iloveyou (:

Am playing maple private server for these few days.

http://www.twilightms.com/

rates are 500x exp, 500x meso, and 10x drop.

woooaaa. =p
lol, & yea cos i don have patience like raven LOL.
3 days and i get to lvl 183 lol~
still can get even more, just that even in private server,
im still lazy to train.
but theres something quite fun thou, Rebirth.
it means u can change to other jobs starting from lvl 1 when ure lvl 200.
so example, if u're a lvl 200 bishop and u rebirth to a nl,
u became lvl 1 but u'll still have bishop's skills.
and rebirth is unlimited. the top ranking crazy guy, rebirthed 21 times.
i wonder if there're so many jobs to change to.

and so ytd dear off, we wanna save money so we decided to stay home.

that idiot was sitting infront of the com e whole day.

NOTE: its really the whole day. (+night) playing maple.

i trained his char to 85 previously, and he train himself to 186,

using the whole of his off day.

i remember he used to say im stupid to spend my offday at home playing games.

AINT YOU TOO MR LEE.

while we're lying on the bed, he still can ask me "what job should i rebirth to?"

boo. maple overwhelms.
take care buds.

don jealous LOL. dragon weapons are dam easy to hunt at skele =3

Happy Birthday Angie. (:

me and dear went to cut our hair today.

he like nv cut hair b4... so anxious. lol. it turned out orite thou.

looks not much difference lol.

dear has an interview tml at tan boon liat building.

anyone know where's dat?

cos we fucking finding it at chinatown and it ended up at tiong bahru.

=.=''_l_ but oh fine, we didnt have enough time to tiong bahru anyways.

went to watch The Days with dear, adrian &his gf and tony &his gf (jasmine).

http://www.thedaysmovie.com/

made in singapore, true life story. paikia storyline about 2 brothers.

not much surprising stuffs. all kinda predicted. bleah.

but when we're out we saw one of e leading actor in dat show, and we shouted "eh! baby lei!"

(cos his name in e show was baby. *silent....*)

and adrian wanted to take pictures with him.......................................

you think he andy lau meh.

went walking around ps, den we saw tony's ex gf, who's name is also jasmine. LOL.

wat an embarrass scene.

den took train go batok, ate stingray!

den had a fight with him ): i hate it.

i donno whats right or wrong, cos im always wrong.

oh dear, i didnt want things to happen this way.

sometimes i really wish to tell you,

can we just change our temper for the sake of e rest of our life?

cos i know, giving in doesnt seems so hard like before,

if its for e sake of our happiness.

but you don seem to think that way.

if you think im e only one you wanna spend the rest of ur life with,

then cherish is what you needa do.

im trying my very best. can you see?

can you talk nicely whenever we quarrel?

we promised... remember?

ure my last boy, and im ur last girl.

i wouldnt wan to stay like this forever.

please? ):

Monsoon - Tokio Hotel. i love it.

was down with fever last 2 days.

thanks dear.

i wan to turn over a new leaf.

and yes, hope i can..

i donno if you can, but i must can.

i cant carry on like this, neither u can.

if u can think on ur age, u should know.

living like this is meaningless. i wan to do something for myself.

i wan to be like few months ago, spend like noone fucking cares.

no *****. not anymore.

B4 its too late.

(:

and yes mayb ure right.

what im good at....

im good at losing myself in loving you (:

been no answer of a target i should have now,

anyone can tell me what i should go for now?

i need a job, yes.

any intro plsss? any will do.

just to have a job and get my ass time lesser in this house will do.

everyone is pushing me to a end, a hopeless end.

no one ever thinks for me, no one i can depends on.

who's the one where i can tell my sorrows to.

answer; my bloggy. (:

&- ps. iloveyou.

move on.

i guess everything is just a hangover.

gotta learn to move on, be strong, stand up and don fall again.

its just retribution. i believe in dat.

everything changes for a reason, don question mine,

its ur choice.

i need someone who i could depend on,

a pair of eyes which could capture all my expressions,

a pair of ears which could hear all my sorrows,

a shoulder which i could cry on,

the love; greater than ever.

sometimes i wonder, does anyone ever listen to me?

get my words into their fucking brain?

and why should i trust they did?

cos even my fucking close ones did not.

time will drift us apart, you will tear me apart.

lol.

i just hope you will actually feel what im going thru and love me like how you claim.

keep going thru the same situation isnt fun at all.

i want to stable, stable down.

HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

woo yea. welcome me back (:

im fine.

i miss you guys orights!

im soooooooo tired of everything.

release me plssssss.

going to agency tml with vanilla.

i wan find work! any introoooooo?

you'll never know how much pain you've put me through.

finally finish doing my blog. (:

out for interview.

be back later~!

Im fucking tired.