Why do I feel that there's a wall in between our communication...? I hope I'm thinking too much, but I really need someone to hear me out, talk to me, show some interest in my life. I feel like I'm living alone in this world.... I can't see or feel anyone around me.... I think i only recognize you in my life before, and now I don't see you I feel I'm alone.... In office, at home, on train... In this world. I'm too attached to you.... I need to free myself from my miserable world, can anyone save me? None of my business is your responsibilty, my happiness. Physically and emotionally tortured. I knew I would go thru this.... I even told you, but it's you, who promised you will make things better. And I believed....I know you are working very hard... But it doesn't mean that you can ignore me right??? How tired am I I had never ignore you, ignore your needs. I try so hard to be your perfect wife, taking care of your needs.... I don't need you to take care of my daily needs.... Just be more concerned towards me.... I know every concern you asked about me is just for asking only.... You don really bother.... Why can't you treat me like how you were in 2005? I don need you to give in to my unreasonable tantrum.... I just want to feel the true concern.... Feel how you really get worried for me... If it can't go back.... Then please stop my life now.

Its been awhile.

Yooooo. My Isaiah is so activeeeee. haha. (":v") my babyboy, and my ("v") my old boy.

                                                                 
















Before                                                          After.

like not very obvious but its really big now already!! haha. 27weeks along.

See my swollen feet :(



















                                              I knew i loved you before i met you. Isaiah Lee

I have so much things to cry about, I can cry the whole day.

Really damn sian. I strongly feels like giving birth in mt a! All sorts of negative remarks coming to me about kkh, yet have no choice... Everytime thinks of this makes me weep.

Being happy is so difficult. True friends is so rare, considerate humans is extinct.

Sigh

As if that's 理所当然。

Lol what's wrong with me.

Die

I wanna die. Die die die. In the past whenever I feel like dying I remind myself there's other dealing with stuffs worst than mine. BUT NOW I DON'T CARE, THEY SHOULD JUST DIE TOO. Whatever. NO ONE CARES ANYWAY

Fuckeveryone

I hate everyone in this world, every single one. Except my mom. That's about it. If dying wasn't painful I'll be long gone.

Fuckthispatheticwomen

Why can't I learn to be as selfish as you? Why no matter I also will think for you? Why am I not sian? Im really fed up with this fucking person here. Why are you not abit like ur 17 years old self? You know you are fucking pathetic? You husband is wants to do junks, you cry and he can even ask you you cry for what? Tht you actually agreed when you scared he sian, but what has he done? Even he think it's no wrong to play game the whole day on your offday you still think of buying food for him? While he rather play game the whole day also don wan accompany you? When he say he appreciates you but still PLAY GAME FOR WHOLE DAY? When you have to do all the house chores and buy food for him even if you are now 5 months in your pregnancy? Fucking wake up your idea, no matter how much you do just to get a little bit back you'll never get it. So stop. Stop this heartache stop these tears. Stop the love, ignite selfishness. Probably you will be happier. Fuck this shit.

Quick come my precious

Mommy waiting for your arrival anxiously.... I think only you could make my life meaningful now.

Leopard never changes it's spots

You want say till you got your rights not to accompany me right. Alright, I have my rights too. You want play selfishness, I can play too.

A very happy birthday.

Turned 24 yesterday! Haha. Sibei old leh. Didn't have a havoc birthday, but I had a very heart warming and happy birthday. Just being with you makes me happy :) I know you have been really concerned about me, making efforts for me. I really appreciate it, appreciate you. Ytd at tiong bahru I can really feel the parting sorrows like the past, its like everything just happened ytd. We came by far.... Tough, we always say we wants to give up, but knowing deep down we'll never be able to separate from each other. Reminiscing how we got together... Ran away together.... Be in deep troubles together.... Cry,laugh together... Tried to love somebody else, but always a fail. 7 years has past, and now we are married, entering another stage of our life. Till now, Im still unsure of what quality makes a good wife, but im trying my best, ever since I signed the 卖身契... Sorry for every unreasonable tantrums I make! And pardon me if I make any mistakes again alright. Lol. I'm so relieved everything is fine for precious, I can't wait to give birth to our baby(although I always say it's not yours, but you had never doubt that. Im really glad that I had a husband like you. :)), just like initially I can't wait to bear your baby. Haha. You don't know one la. It's always my wish to have a baby with the love of my life, and I can confirm its you, no one else. But I'm
Now is in the least confidence of my shape... Getting fatter and fatter with unknown possibilities of slimming down after delivery. Lol. Keep thinking will I be a disgrace to you in futue? We have bad points, and we might not be able to see our good points sometimes, but as long as love is still there, we will make it through every today. I love how we can talk about anything under the Sun and beyond. I love everything.. I love you. No words can express my love for you, you know it. :) I love you!!! Always and forever.

Boring.

Decided to stay with kkh. Lol. I actually prefer mount a better. But... Aiya! Ahboy ah, 都怪你妈妈没用，不会存钱啦!!  天真的我。i thought if he stayed with that job of 3-4k it would be sufficient, but who knows.... Things always get out of hand. Lol. If I'm going to have another baby, I would make good preparation first. Went for the booking of flat ytd. BLK 804A #10-12 huat ah. Hahaha

我到底做错了什么....

人家连auntie都不叫，你却眉开眼笑。 我每次叫你，你却愁眉苦脸。 Sigh.

It's a boy!.... At least 80%

Sorry I'm lateeeee! Had the detailed scan, my naughty precious made the sonographer kinda headache. Haha his face was facing up all the way, even after I went out for a 10 mins walk. Sonographer lady kept giving out those laughs like "Haha... Really cannot.... How ah... Haha..." which is really stress and funny at the same time. It makes it hard to measure his rump, which is the circumference of his head from above. It was only until the late part after various tries of coughing and shaking my belly then she has a better view. So... The second most important thing after all the organs and part were present was.... Gender! My shy baby had his legs closed all the way. At the wits end, she hand over to another lady to see if luck is with her lol, but it's still the same, so when she was going to give up, she asked me to lie on my left side. And suddenly the second lady exclaimed "EH?" while pointing to the screen and the first lady hurry went to screen. So tada! My ah boy opened a little, and she say okay... It's a boy. 80%. Cos she saw something which looks like penis. I would like to thank both of them cause they really give their efforts. And they were just as anxious as us. Haha. Dear told me something I feel absurd.... He wanted a girl becos he don't need to bring her out alone as he can't bring her to the toilet. What kind of reason is this. What a shallow person omg lol. Then we start to think about the name.... Deciding between Elijah or Isaiah... Still not decided yet lol. It'll be with him for life leh! Must decide seriously. Lol and as always, -.- when asked a serious question no answer among our friends is appropriate. Dear son, I can't wait to kiss you. Dear husband I can't wait to box you.

I felt you

Went to YouTube to kill my time while waiting for dear to be home. Saw this video showing a very obvious kicking at 20 weeks, I'm 20 weeks now. Thou I can feel baby kicking all the time but I doubt I can see it so I lie on my back and observed. After a min When I feel the kick I can seriously see my belly moving! Hahaha. Very incredible feeling!!! I love bb!! And I love this man who bought my angel to me. Lol. Next tues!! 3 more daysss!!!

Please go back to your balance.

I've never drop a tear for my life before.... Be it good or bad , poor or rich. I always take it very easily and believe things would get better. And now I am crying like a dog about how life is fucking me hard. Things that appear in my head just get worst. Just a moment ago I'm feeling happy and now depressed? Wtf. Hormones is really powerful. Stop making me. I'm not like this, and I don't like it.

I want to see my precious!!

My god my god. I can't wait for next scan! 24thhhhh come faster please! Btw, I can already feel precious moving. Haha. So active! Whenever I feel the flutters everything unhappy just fly away~ thou it came back awhile later.hahaha. My hubby is so sweet today. Not like ytd. Ps me the whole day humph. I love you do much! Hahaha.

My patience is getting bad.

I wish I could express it out like how she did. Everytime I fake that smile while address her I just turn around and sigh. Nobody I can say it to, I'm not in any position to comment about it. Am I so detestable? I honestly think that I did what I can being a dil, you did nothing as a mom not even mil. Your son is in a very down period, instead of understanding you brought him more problems. To me, if you have never try to help our problems, you have no right to comment about it. Before you wanna say how bad we did, think about have you try to help? Only pushing us deeper and deeper. Probably it's my hormones, but I'm worried I might just ignore her one day. You want people to respect you, respect others first, no matter how old are you, this is the rule.